The hardest thing...

...I've had to do. Writing an email to my boyfriend(?) very difficult. I've sat crying for most of the day and when I'm not crying I am sniffling all the time. My friend was meant to take me out today but I've had to cry off (heh) and say I'm not feeling well. I don't want to depress anyone else over this. Except all you poor buggers reading this message!

I've forgotten when I tookmy last tablets, everything has gone completely out of my mind other than my impending relationship break down and I don't think I've eaten since Wednesday...actually...not I haven't eaten since Wednesday...shit :/ I'm not hungry though, my tummy is full of bubbling lava and if I eat anything I may be sick. I have been sick quite a lot anyway and I don't want to be doing that anymore as it hurts.

I'm going to Birmingham tomorrow and shall do my best to cheer myself up for it, lest I ruin the event for everyone else. I would cancel, but I'll let so many people down and my hotel is already booked...for two people...

I'm mentally and physically exhausted and I know people are worried about me. Please don't. Whatever has happened has obviously been my fault, I'm not sure how, but maybe it's best if I go and be dormant for a bit. I'd love to go and see my mother for a few days and I've been contemplating braving the train on my own, but I'm not sure if I can. I may see if I can pay my father to take me as I think I need to go away from everyone and hibernate for a bit as I am obviously upsetting people. I am very glad I have deleted Facebook, that way people can't look at my statuses and think 'oh GOD!' I am just using this and twitter occasionally. Mainly this blog though.

If you don't like what you read, stop reading, basically.

That's it for now. I've had no acknowledgment that he has received my email, I know he is at work but I think he's ignoring me. Which is fine, he'll be able to read my reply email at his own leisure then instead of a phone call.

I'll see you lot soon!