Daddy issues :/

Hallo!

Another blog entry...it's not even Christmas ;D

Sooo, what's being going on? Well, I am STILL waiting to get this damn flat. I've obviously outstayed my welcome and my fathers as he's said. Giving me deposit money for a place and basically saying, 'go' kinda gives me the impression he's had enough.
Why should I think he'd be okay with his daughter stopping with him when she's homeless? I've been here just a little over 2 weeks and he's fed up of me? I'm not that surprised, I mean, he wasn't there for 16 years of my life so why would he be here now? Why break a habit of a lifetime? Yet he can quite happily be baking cupcakes with his partners daughter as he is doing now. Hmmmm, yeah.

Ah well, sooner I get the fucking hell out of here the better as I can feel the molten lava racing through my chest, wanting to just explode in the way of a fiery tongue-lashing and vile words. I'm trying to hold the rage in, I really am. It's very difficult.

Take Monday morning. I had little to no sleep Sunday night as I spasmed badly all through the night time. Finally getting to sleep I am then awoken by my fathers face around the door informing me I have to 'get up and clean your grandads house. I'll be back in an hour. Be ready.' Said like a threat aswell. I mean, 6am?! So at 7am I am up, washed and dressed, absolutely exhausted and wanting to cry. He drops he at Grandads where I clean SOLIDLY for 4 hours.

I then go to Sarah's to wait for the guy to see me about the flat. I get a phone call from Jo's silly little daughter who is at school asking if I'll be home for her brother. Am I the mother? No. I say I won't be as I'm going to sort the flat out, I tell her to give her brother the keys so he can get in and she says she will. So, problem solved. Later on, phone call again, which I ignore as I am not her minder. Then I receive a text saying, 'What ever happens tell ---- i'm in school i'll explain tomorrow but i'm helping out some teacher's for the last few lessons :) xx'
What in the hell? So I ring my father and tell him that something weird is going on, he doesn't give a shit because the kids 'aren't his problem,' well...there's a surprise!

I don't get to see the flat as the guy is too busy to show me, bummer :( so I trot back to my Grandads to get a lift from my father back to Jo's, Grandads dirty washing it tow. I take the long way to my Grandads and sit by the river for a little while to think. I was indeed tempted to submerge myself in her chilly depths. The feeling was quite strong and before I could do anything stupid I stood up and carried on walking.

On arriving at Jo's place we notice her daughter, the one I mention above, walking towards the bridge and she has a smug look on her face as she greets us. I shake my head as I have no idea what is actually going on and I don't care as I am so tired that I crash out for an hour. I wake up and a dinner awaits me as an apology of sorts and I wolf it down as I've not eaten all day. I tidy up the kitchen, front room, etc. and return to my 'room' so I am out of the way. I read my book for a little bit and then I hear 'Where IS she?!' from the front room. I abandon the book and peek my head around the corner. Jo is fuming as her daughter is meant to have been home 2 hours ago. She is 13 years old and it's getting dark. Jo and her son take off in one direction and I take off in another, jogging to the cinema, Asda, the underpass, the quarry, all over the place. I get a call about 30 minutes later to come back as she has been found. I start jogging back, my feet and calves burning with my effort. I feel good though, I think I'm going to take up jogging again...after investing in a sports bra...ouch!

I arrive back at the house, flushed in the face and breathing like a rapist. She has not only been missing for 2 hours but she also skipped school after lunch! She'd lied to her teacher and said she had a dentists appointment to attend :/ she was checking whether I was in the house or not as she got home and changed her clothes to go up town. Then she met a 16 year old boy...Christ 0_0;

She has entirely too much freedom for her own good! So now there is a lot of shouting and tears. I am asked to kill the kids Facebook account, which she shouldn't have ANYWAY imho because she is just too young! I get really cross at the lax attitude of parents nowadays, grrr! I get a 'thanks' for running about trying to find her and for killing her FB account. So I turn in for the night as I am exhausted.

Today (Tuesday) has been uneventful, thankfully! No phone call from the guy about the flat though, hopefully there will be one tomorrow as I've had enough. I did get another call though, from Shaun :3 it made my entire day! Hopefully I will get to see him this weekend as I do miss him, a lot. I had a fantastic weekend before all of this crap happened on Monday (I still cannot believe that was all ONE day!) and I spent a lot of time with him :) I didn't think I could feel like this about someone, but I do and I am extremely happy.

Right, I'm off to read my book again!

Night all

xx

Oh pissing hell!

13:15pm


Oh pissing hell! (*Stomps feet*) why can someone who seems so intellectually sound be so...well...dumb?! Ye gods!People will have NO idea who I am talking about, but I do need to vent!(*Rubs temples*) Where to start?? Well, this year has been pretty eventful already! At the beginning of December 07, me and my partner went our separate ways (more my doing than his) as things weren't really working. It was amusing to find that he had a new girlfriend pretty much straight after our split, no grieving time? Ah well, I was pretty cruel with the separation, but I do assure you that he deserved it (not going into detail, cannot be arsed) so that was a bit of a blow then. But I went and got myself 'involved' with someone in January-not relationship-wise, just sex I think.

Although I had fancied him for a few years on and off, he was a prick though and went with my 'supposed' friend Christina, yes that fat belter. I am entitled to say that as I am cross today, she is a fat belter anyway, great huge arse on her. (Remembers the 'National Express song') 'her arse was the size of a small countrrrrrryyyyyy!' and so that was over....Anywaaay-I turned 22 in January (good 'owd Aquarius!) and had Sophie come to live with me for a few months as she had a row with her family. That was nice, although I do like my own space, she moved out a couple of months ago I think now...not too sure-I'll consult my diary when I get home.

Also, I'm pretty damn sure I am going to turn asexual, like a potato! Sex is too much frigging hassle, this is ME saying that I do appreciate, but seriously! And I hate that 'getting to know you' stage shite. And then you find out your actually nothing alike and that they annoy you, blah blah blah-relationships are overrated!I'll just stick with 'Charlie' I think! A hell of a lot safer, and no babies :p not that I can have the little fuckers anyway, OR want them!