Daddy issues :/

Hallo!

Another blog entry...it's not even Christmas ;D

Sooo, what's being going on? Well, I am STILL waiting to get this damn flat. I've obviously outstayed my welcome and my fathers as he's said. Giving me deposit money for a place and basically saying, 'go' kinda gives me the impression he's had enough.
Why should I think he'd be okay with his daughter stopping with him when she's homeless? I've been here just a little over 2 weeks and he's fed up of me? I'm not that surprised, I mean, he wasn't there for 16 years of my life so why would he be here now? Why break a habit of a lifetime? Yet he can quite happily be baking cupcakes with his partners daughter as he is doing now. Hmmmm, yeah.

Ah well, sooner I get the fucking hell out of here the better as I can feel the molten lava racing through my chest, wanting to just explode in the way of a fiery tongue-lashing and vile words. I'm trying to hold the rage in, I really am. It's very difficult.

Take Monday morning. I had little to no sleep Sunday night as I spasmed badly all through the night time. Finally getting to sleep I am then awoken by my fathers face around the door informing me I have to 'get up and clean your grandads house. I'll be back in an hour. Be ready.' Said like a threat aswell. I mean, 6am?! So at 7am I am up, washed and dressed, absolutely exhausted and wanting to cry. He drops he at Grandads where I clean SOLIDLY for 4 hours.

I then go to Sarah's to wait for the guy to see me about the flat. I get a phone call from Jo's silly little daughter who is at school asking if I'll be home for her brother. Am I the mother? No. I say I won't be as I'm going to sort the flat out, I tell her to give her brother the keys so he can get in and she says she will. So, problem solved. Later on, phone call again, which I ignore as I am not her minder. Then I receive a text saying, 'What ever happens tell ---- i'm in school i'll explain tomorrow but i'm helping out some teacher's for the last few lessons :) xx'
What in the hell? So I ring my father and tell him that something weird is going on, he doesn't give a shit because the kids 'aren't his problem,' well...there's a surprise!

I don't get to see the flat as the guy is too busy to show me, bummer :( so I trot back to my Grandads to get a lift from my father back to Jo's, Grandads dirty washing it tow. I take the long way to my Grandads and sit by the river for a little while to think. I was indeed tempted to submerge myself in her chilly depths. The feeling was quite strong and before I could do anything stupid I stood up and carried on walking.

On arriving at Jo's place we notice her daughter, the one I mention above, walking towards the bridge and she has a smug look on her face as she greets us. I shake my head as I have no idea what is actually going on and I don't care as I am so tired that I crash out for an hour. I wake up and a dinner awaits me as an apology of sorts and I wolf it down as I've not eaten all day. I tidy up the kitchen, front room, etc. and return to my 'room' so I am out of the way. I read my book for a little bit and then I hear 'Where IS she?!' from the front room. I abandon the book and peek my head around the corner. Jo is fuming as her daughter is meant to have been home 2 hours ago. She is 13 years old and it's getting dark. Jo and her son take off in one direction and I take off in another, jogging to the cinema, Asda, the underpass, the quarry, all over the place. I get a call about 30 minutes later to come back as she has been found. I start jogging back, my feet and calves burning with my effort. I feel good though, I think I'm going to take up jogging again...after investing in a sports bra...ouch!

I arrive back at the house, flushed in the face and breathing like a rapist. She has not only been missing for 2 hours but she also skipped school after lunch! She'd lied to her teacher and said she had a dentists appointment to attend :/ she was checking whether I was in the house or not as she got home and changed her clothes to go up town. Then she met a 16 year old boy...Christ 0_0;

She has entirely too much freedom for her own good! So now there is a lot of shouting and tears. I am asked to kill the kids Facebook account, which she shouldn't have ANYWAY imho because she is just too young! I get really cross at the lax attitude of parents nowadays, grrr! I get a 'thanks' for running about trying to find her and for killing her FB account. So I turn in for the night as I am exhausted.

Today (Tuesday) has been uneventful, thankfully! No phone call from the guy about the flat though, hopefully there will be one tomorrow as I've had enough. I did get another call though, from Shaun :3 it made my entire day! Hopefully I will get to see him this weekend as I do miss him, a lot. I had a fantastic weekend before all of this crap happened on Monday (I still cannot believe that was all ONE day!) and I spent a lot of time with him :) I didn't think I could feel like this about someone, but I do and I am extremely happy.

Right, I'm off to read my book again!

Night all

xx